I don't sleep anymore. I don't know why. I lie awake engrossed in my thoughts, wishing I could be asleep. I wake up at every hour and begin the cycle once more. It is taking a toll. I can't focus. I can't relax. I am constantly drained. All I want to do is sleep. I hate getting out of bed in the morning. I lie awake waiting for my alarm to go off. I hit snooze, and lie awake for fifteen more minutes waiting for it to go off once more. I feel lethargic. I need something to change. I go through the motions of each day, constantly checking the time. I get eager for the time to pass, but for what reason? I long for certain times, yet as soon as that time comes, I long for another time. It's a waiting game. Waiting for what? Each day is the same. It ends and I lie awake and think. Then I begin a new day, and it is a routine. What am I waiting for? I am watching the days pass as though they are nothing. I am hoping for something new every day. I am hoping to wake up and something to change. THIS to change. I wake up every day and remember how my days used to be. I used to have something to look forward to every day. Things are so different. It seems unreal to me. It can't be real. Things like this don't just happen. Things don't just fall apart like this. Things don't just end. I will wake up one day, and it will be different. I will wake up one day, and I will have it back. This is what I think. I know it won't happen. I consciously know that it will never happen. Yet, I subconsciously wait for it. It is all a waiting game. A false hope. I know I cannot wait any longer. But what happens when I stop waiting? I feel like I'm walking on a tightrope. I feel like no matter where I turn, if I change my path, everything will fall. I will fall. I don't want to fall. I am either chasing a false hope, or I am falling. Which will it be.