My eyes well with tears. My throat constricts, and it hurts. My stomach is in knots. My eyes overflow and spill over. It is hot on my face. It instantly turns cold. The stream runs down my chin, but does not drip. It flows down my neck, slow but steady.

What is happening? I am so lost. I am scared, confused, stuck. Yet, I know. I don't want to do this anymore. I want it to just be over. I want to move away. I want to start over. I want to be someone else. I don't want to do this. I don't want to be reminded every day. I don't want to be reminded every where. I want to just be able to let go already. I started to. I started to, then I remembered everything. I started to, but I couldn't. It's too hard. I felt so much. I'm afraid to let it go, even though I know I can't have it back. I wish this were easier.

My throat burns, still. My breathing becomes uneven. My stomach hurts. My mind races. My lip quivers. My hands start to shake.

I want this to end. I want to go back. I want to go forward. I want it all back. I want to forget it all happened. I want to hold you. I want to run. I want to hope. I want to accept. I just want it to stop hurting. I either want to be done with it or to have it back. Anything to make these feelings stop.