I can't think of the words to describe what I feel right now. I know what it is, but I don't want to admit it. I feel that if I write about it, it will become more real. I want to ignore this. It isn't worth it. But it is here. It is here and it is real. It has come for a reason. Something has caused it. Something in my subconscious mind has beckoned this emotion. I bid it away. I do not want its company. The more I write about it, the easier it is to feel. I knew it would be arriving. I wish it gone. I need a distraction; something to take my mind away from reality, only for a while. I do not need to create an illusion for the illusion that is deteriorating. I just need something to catch my eye while reality reveals itself. Maybe then it won't be as menacing.