I am so low lately. I think it's because I am giving up. It's really sinking in now that we will never be again. It has been nearly three months now.. That's a fourth of a year. Yet, it isn't a long time. It's long enough, though, to make me realize. It's just not going to happen, and I truly know that. I still let you flatter me, when you want to. I still let myself reminisce. I still let myself wish. But I am finally beginning to accept that it won't happen. We will never have it back. The knowledge and realization is bringing me down. Sorrow is washing over me. It feels like nothing matters. I feel like I'm merely here, and that is all. I feel numb. This hole in my chest seems to keep growing, and the bigger it gets the more hollow I become.