I know I will be okay.
I know this will pass.
I know that I will find happiness again.
I know that things will be better.
I know I can do this.
I know I will do this.

But that doesn't mean that I don't wish.
It doesn't mean that I was ready.
It doesn't mean that I want this to happen.
I wasn't ready to move on.
I wasn't ready for life without you.
I don't want to move on, not without you.
I don't want things to have to get better.

I know time will keep going.
I know the seasons will keep changing.
I know that life will go on.
I just wish it were with you.

That is what no one understands.

It isn't that I don't think I can do it.
It isn't that I don't think I'll be happy again.
It isn't anything of the sort.
It is that I want it to be with you.
It is that I'm going through the motions of each day with a hole inside my chest.
It is that I gave my heart to you, and I'm not ready to take it back.
It is that I lost the most important person in my life.
It is that I am barren.

You are marvelous.
When I said that you will always be my best, I meant it.
When I said I will always care for you, I meant it.
When I said I will always be here, I meant it.
When I said you're the most beautiful being I've encountered, I meant it.
When I said I will love you forever, I meant it.
Do not doubt these things.

I will move on.
I will let go.
I will be happy.

I will not forget.
I will not regret.
I will not pretend.

I just wish it were all with you.