Hope beyond hope.

Approval.. we constantly strive for it. We get on our hands and knees, giving up any dignity we might have once possessed, and beg for some sense of regard. We thrive on another's satisfaction, when quite honestly they probably don't even recognize it. Not to mention that if they did recognize it they probably wouldn't appreciate it anyways. Why is it necessary for someone else to be so PLEASED with who we are;what we do; what we enjoy; why we enjoy it? It is beyond my comprehension why somebody would modify and amend themselves to the liking of someone who is too oblivious and blind to reality to even notice. If I have one piece of advice for anybody it is to never conform to anyone else's desires, interests, opinions, beliefs, or anything of the sort. Never give up who you are for anybody, because in the end, it won't be worth it. You are who you are, and you like what you like. "Your life is not an apology. It is for itself, and not a spectacle", as said by Emerson. You are your own. You shall forever remain your own. Never let anybody take that from you. It's the one thing you've got.

"If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, the possibility of life is destroyed."

"It is important in life not to necessarily be strong, but to feel strong."

Emerald Isle. This is my beautiful get away. The mute music of the white sands and the roar of the waves. This feels like my home. The familiarity of the long strip of sand, the smell of the salt, the thick, moist air, all of these are my comfort zones. This beach washes away all former troubles. It puts me in a peaceful state of mind that I couldn't obtain anywhere else.

This is my safe haven.

Another chapter of life has closed. How cliche. It seems so surreal; how fast time goes, how much things change, and the most unbelievable part is we hardly notice. Over the course of the year my life has taken so many U-turns and detours that it was honestly hard to keep track. School got the best of me for the first time probably ever. I regret this terribly but it could have been much worse. I somewhat lost my head over the year. Regardless, it was incredible. My life changed in ways I never expected. As this chapter closed, it opened the page to something I'd never known. I was exposed to self-reliance, advocating justice, standing up for what I believe, having people support me for that, and learning what it means to grow as a person. I would love to believe I'm much stronger now than I was before, but it's hard to say. I've also become much weaker in ways. I feel as though I saw everything I needed to see, but then I was blinded. Now I have to overcome this set-back and find my way again. Honestly, I can't wait to do just that.

Perfection at it's best.

I am craving crisp air.
I need the hot sun beating down through the cool atmosphere to warm my sullen body
I long to see those mountainous plains and the low clouds.
I wish so badly to reside in Alaska.
I need so desperately to learn self-reliance, to commit it to memory and to execute it in my life.
Transcendentalism is pulling at my core, and Emerson is reaching into my mind.
I have forgotten the beauty of nature in this desolate concrete world.
I have lost touch of the basis of self-reliance and I have given myself fully to this whirlwind of confusion known as reality.
Now it is time to remind myself.

"Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living."

- Anais Nin

We stress over things we desire, we hope for things we need, we dwell on things that already happened; yet, we don't take action to live in a dreaming state.
A dreaming state is a state through which you live your every dream, you live so happily that it is the equivalent to a dream.
However, a dreaming state cannot be acquired unless it is reached for.
Instead of stressing over tomorrow, hoping for today and worrying about yesterday, how about we take what we have and make something more. Because each dream will pass into the reality of action, and from this action will stem the dream again and through this interdependence, we will be living in the highest form.

"Love me when I least deserve it,

because that's when I really need it"

When you realize you're falling your mind seems to go in slow motion, however it is actually moving quite quickly. The shock and terror form and pulse through your body so quickly that it seems as though the fall was actually slowed down to allow the reaction to set it. That feeling, the gut wrenching realization that you have no control is among the worst feelings to exist. This feeling, though, is not only associated to falling. It associated to anything that you truly and very genuinely wish, deeply wish, would not happen. Nothing compares to this pure and unmistakable fear. Nothing, except the truth.