I look at her after a nearly sleepless night. Her face is lacking make up and is expressing sorrow. Her hair is sporting natural waves and her eyes are shining an unforgettable blue. I try to capture this beauty. She would deny it a thousands times over, yet I know this is true; she is the most naturally beautiful person I've known. I have realized that this is my life. What I have is everything that I've got. And out of all of these things, she is by far the best. To feel her warmth against me, to feel the lines of her hand fitting into mine, to smell her smell on my clothes, to wake up to her every morning; that is my happiness. Around other people I get too conscious of myself and my surroundings, I second guess everything I do, I lose sight of myself, and I shut down. But around her.. I know that everything I say, whether good or bad, or stupid or misunderstood.. it's okay. She will still love me tomorrow. THAT. is what I live for. She is everything to me. She is my life. And she is the most incredible person I know; a queen, a goddess. she won't believe me when I say it, but there isn't a single that could ever make me love her less. Because every second.. I am beginning to love her more.

Expectations.
Expectations only bring disappointment.

For Alex Supertramp

I watched Into the Wild today.
My god what a beautiful movie that is.
Alex Supertramp is a legend.
He is the definition of purity, truth and courage.
I admire him.
Sometimes I feel like Alex Supertramp.

Sometimes I want just want to run.

I want to run somewhere beautiful.

I want to run somewhere full of truth,

away from all of this corruption.

I want to run past all of the expectations,

past all of the disappointments,

past all of the lies,

past all of the past

..and I want to look them all in the eyes,

then I want to never think of them again.

But then.. then I think of her.
I think of the goddess.
She changes everything.
I would never leave her.
She's coming today. This makes my stomach lurch.

She saves me from this broken world.

Everyday.
And for that, I will love her 'til I no longer am capable.

Bon Iver is serenading me.

Bon Iver has changed me.

"Isn't everything wonderful?"

"Isn't it wonderful now?"

"I close my eyes when I get too sad.

I think thoughts that I know are bad.

Close my eyes and I count to ten.

Hope everything's over when I open them"

"Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now."

Alone.

Alone.

Alone.